1) What inspired you to get into this work?
From a young age, I knew I was in trouble. I saw the rampant alcoholism, codependency, and emotional neglect that ran deep within my family. Perhaps the most unsettling was the consistent gaslighting that I endured, not being able to determine what was real or imaginary on a day-to-day basis. My spiritual path began to unfold as I started walking dogs in fourth grade to pay for my therapy. When asked by my parents why I wanted to seek help I responded “Because it ends with me.”
Oftentimes growing up my life felt more like a gauntlet than a joy, having to overcome many different challenges. With each new challenge, I acquired a deeper understanding of the human condition and vowed to myself that I would not become bitter, but that I would become better. Through a lot of hard work and awareness of my patterning, I was able to transform my greatest pain into my greatest power…helping others find their way onto the healing path and living a life full of more purpose and meaning.
In hindsight, one of the more impactful moments that steered me towards psychedelics was attending a workshop on how to become a community organizer. In this workshop, they suggested ideas on what people could organize around such as gun control, women’s rights, education, and healthcare. I could not choose a specific topic because I realized they were all intersectionally related. It finally became clear to me that trauma was the underlying reason for all of these conditions co-existing in the first place. I had found my north star and began working feverishly with organizations that could help shine a brighter light on this mental health pandemic.
A year later, I attended my first ayahuasca ceremony. One night felt like decades of healing and I knew this was one of the most powerful tools that had the potential to transform our world! I vowed to help get this work more into mainstream culture. So I joined a well-known school that trained Psychedelic Assisted Therapists and became their Head of Communications. I later joined the Congregation of Sacred Practices as their Head of Operations and Community Development.
Having graduated from the Ministry training, I now hold sacred medicine ceremonies for individuals and groups. I am also a certified Enneagram Facilitator and oftentimes use this archetypal roadmap to help prep and integrate my members experience within the ceremonial container.
2) What’s one of the most profound lessons you have received from the sacrament?
The first is coming to a deeper understanding and compassion for my family of origin. I lost my mother this past year and without my spiritual practices and ceremonial work with the medicine, her passing and our goodbye would have been so incredibly painful. My mom suffered from addiction her entire life, and while many people were happy to see her go, I was excited for the new relationship I would have with her on the other side. This cosmic connection started two years before my mother was even dying. I had traveled to the Amazon jungle to work with Shipibo healers doing ayahuasca ceremonies. During one of my ceremonies in the jungle, the medicine walked me through every cell of my body showing me where I came from. The medicine whispered “You are a museum of your ancestry” and made me realize my ancestral line was alive and well in every corner of my being. They had never left me. Their smiles, their laughs, their struggles, their heartbreak. Like trees with roots interconnected below ground, my nervous system was deeply connected to theirs cosmically above.
The second profound lesson I have learned through this sacred work is that you cannot hate yourself through healing, only love does that. For decades I had hated my body and “punished it” by working out and eating healthy because I had wanted to lose weight and fit a particular mold that society accepted. The medicine has taught me to stop trying to fix myself and start taking care of myself. This simple, but yet profound mind shift, has allowed me to treat my body with nourishment and love, instead of shame and hate. It has also made me realize that our body is an alarm system and wants the best for us! Having issues with burnout, chronic fatigue, and brain fog were always a nuisance and yet another thing to overcome. However, now I see that it is my body’s way of telling me I am overworking, need to rest, and must be more discerning with where and with whom I give my attention, energy, and love. Like with all things…everything is happening for us, not to us.
3. How has this work deepened your relationship with Self/Source?
I have had a very deep relationship with Source from a young age. I always knew that I was held by the universe and deeply supported, even when oftentimes it was hard. In fact the harder it got, the more deeply supported I felt. This shows up in many ways, but attention to synchronicities in life usually leads me down a magic pathway to Source.
My connection to Source has only grown as my Mother has passed and I have encounters with her spirit watching over me daily. I am closer to her now in death than I ever was in life. Working with medicine has made me realize that we are one universal consciousness and this makes me feel interconnected with everything, especially with spirit, energy, and Mother Earth.
4) What is one of your favorite ways to help people prep for or integrate their ceremonial experiences?
A big part of preparation, especially for new members is just educating them about the process and most importantly starting to help them develop their relationship with the medicine. It is important to remind them to trust, surrender, and receive. Without these three steps, people can get too stuck in their heads and not allow the medicine to do its work.
I also work on formulating a safe and trusting relationship between me and the member, for so much of this work is about rebuilding trust and relational healing. Lastly, I like to frame the preparation phase saying that they are in a two-week prayer with the medicine. This seems to elongate the experience in their minds and deepens their discussion with the sacred medicine, themselves, and the universe.
For integration, art can be a huge catalyst for deeper understanding and connection. If people are artistically inclined (even if they are not!), I might suggest that they create a painting about their ceremony, write a poem, or even write a song. I also like to leave the session by asking the person for one word that most describes their journey. I ask them to write that word someplace they can see it every day and pay attention to it. With that one word, I have even suggested that they build a tiny altar and pray and journal every morning before their day starts.
5) What’s your favorite medicine journey track?
This is not a typical song that I would play during a journey, but it is the song that I wrote and sang for integration after my one-month stay in the Amazon working with Shipibo healers doing ayahuasca.
I had asked my community to write me letters before this pilgrimage (something I greatly recommend when doing something so meaningful!). I taped the sounds of the jungle and I took out one sentence from every letter that my community wrote me and made them into lyrics. My friend comprised the music and it is my vocals. I hope this inspires some of you to do something similar with your ceremonies! I listen to this almost every day and it has become a deep part of my morning ritual. I hope you enjoy it!
https://open.spotify.com/album/4wlQcoe3akSdY33hEJhfQY?si=gJJ7wU7ARMSgRlaz3Oe-aA
6) Book a 30-minute consult with Makenzie to connect with her and learn more!
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